Today I was offered a consulting job. Back in the world of work I knew before I retired. Developing an on-line course for the public health community. This is a world where I know what I’m doing. A world where I’m an ‘expert’ or at least competent. The pay wasn’t bad and it would involve a bit of easy travel. I would be working with folks who respect me and it would add some structure to my days. It would fill my days with a lot of things I enjoyed about my former position, and less of the things that frustrated me.
Sounds pretty good doesn’t it? But I’m glad I didn’t just jump right in with a yes. I said, let me get back to you. And then I took it before the Lord.
Well….I got my answer. God did not speak to me out loud, but he made his response clear. Loretta, would you choose to let that world fill you up rather than me? I’ve given you an assignment. Spend time with me, learn more about me, share what you are learning with others. My lesson right now is to let God be my constant source of fulfillment. This is coming at me in many forms.
And I will tell you, I am struggling with this new assignment. I miss the enforced structure of my professional life. I want to fall back on the familiar, the known, rather than blaze a path into the unknown that God has invited me to walk.
So, it really comes down to this. Do I let the work that I’m familiar with fill me up, or do I let God fill me? The temptation is to go with the familiar. The place where I know I’ll get my kudos. But I’m still reading Jeremiah, and I read that God told Jeremiah ‘I can’t bless disobedience’.
At this time in my life God has invited me on an adventure. It’s a bit of a maze where I can’t always see what is ahead, but this adventure is an invitation from God to let him alone fill me, and to do otherwise would be disobedience. I’ve decided to give a ‘no thank you’ answer to the offer. Even though I don’t have a clue where God is leading me on this new adventure, I’m learning to choose him over the apparent security of the known.
I’m linked up here today.